Being.

Having a child amplifies every fiber of my being.  Every emotion I feel is tenfold to that which I felt before having my fiesty toddler.  

My love, joy, frustration, patience, sadness, heartache, amazement, fear.  I experienced these before my baby entered the world.  Now that he is here, these emotions are all consuming.  I love to the very center of my bone.  I fear to the very ends of my hair.  My heart literally races with joy.

I am almost sick with emotion.  I feel everything. 

Sometimes this is scary.  I almost cannot wrap my mind around being so passionate about another person - both the joys and sorrows.  

It is my goal to always be contented.  Patient.  To recognize the good and the bad.  To let go of control and breathe in experiences.  I want to be.

I cannot keep my child from harm.  I cannot keep him from growing up.  I cannot always cry tears because my love is so fierce.  While I want to experience all of these emotions, I want to also recognize that I am utterly blessed.  I want to be calm, patient, and thankful.

This little man has no idea how much he has taught me.  I do not suspect he will ever know until he has his own babe in his arms.