Monday, July 18, 2011

Parenting Styles

Parenting philosophies are hot topics in which people become very emotionally invested.  This is to be expected as we all do what we feel works for our child.  In our household, we try and subscribe to many parenting styles because it is what's best for our child.  
  • Does J cry it out?  No, but he fusses it out as I know how to distinguish when he's calling for attention compared to when he's really upset.  
  • Does J sleep in a crib?  No, he has a floor bed where he begins the night without us but bed-shares with us later on.  
  • Does J wear cloth diapers exclusively?  We try but sometimes it is too difficult to do laundry as we do not own a washer or dryer.
  • Does J watch TV?  He tries really hard to crane his neck and watch the quick and flashy movement.  I turn off the TV, but I'm not concerned if he watched it for 2 minutes.
  • Do I read to J?  Yes, but not consistently.  We read when he's interested.  This changes from day to day.  If he'd rather be on his belly, squirming and having a conversation with the cat, I won't force him to sit and listen to my story.
  • Does J get attention 100% of the time?  No because it's not feasible but, even if it were, I wouldn't always be singing, playing, or reading with him.  He needs to learn independence, even at such a young age.
  • Is J on a schedule for eating, sleeping, playing?  He's not on a schedule that any book designed.  I breastfeed on demand, let him sleep when he's tired, and his activity cannot be controlled by me!  However, he has developed his own schedule that is now predictable and consistent.  We let him guide us as opposed to the other way around.  Now I simply help him remember the schedule he set for himself.
More than just parenting styles, marketers are weighing in and telling us what our opinions should be.  I find it fascinating how so many products are mother-approved and we are told to give said product to our children because it's the "best" way to give them a head start.  This is difficult to hear.  What if I don't give my child a, b, or c?  Does this mean I'm not giving him what's "best"?  Does this mean I'm settling for "good enough"?

I do not wish to compare myself or my child to anyone else or join in on the competitive mommy wars.  When we make decisions about our parenting, T and I are thoughtful and experimental.  For it's all just trial and error anyway, no?  We want what's best for J, no matter what that means.  I know that every single parent does what they feel is best for their child.  I will not judge, compare, or attempt to persuade any parent when it comes to raising their child.  I will, therefore, expect the same.

We are not perfect parents for anyone but one.  We are perfect parents for J.

Do you subscribe to a parenting philosophy?  Have you experienced judgement from others on the way you raise your children?  How do you handle the situation when it comes to mommy wars?


Tattoos n' Diapers said...

Great post! 100% agree with you. Thank you for dropping by my blog! Im a new follower via GFC! :)

Stephanie said...

Thanks for following me through TAT. I love your blog and am following through GFC, hope to hear more about your journeys!