a little friendship goes a long way...

Researching for a birth class was both exciting and intimidating.  Upon my 20th week of pregnancy, T and I began to seek our best option:  Bradley Method?  Or Hypnobirthing?  After a little bit of research, including what classes were available and when, we decided on Hypnobirthing (more on this decision in another post).  We were the last couple to be added to a class of 4.

The 4 couples with whom we studied breathing techniques, fear releases, positive mantras, and relaxation quickly became aware of our personal feelings toward birth.  At the beginning of each session, we would discuss how our pregnancies were progressing, how we could prepare ourselves physically for birth, and how we all could support one another.  I was the first woman due to give birth, shortly followed by another, and then months for the other 3.

As it were, the woman due 3 days after me gave birth 28 hours before me.  10 weeks later another baby was born.  1 week later yet another.  And lastly, the final hypnobaby was born this July.

4 of the 5 hypnobabies

Since the beginning of June, as many or as few of us that are able come together for a long lunch and conversation.  What is so striking to me is that these women are intelligent, kind, gentle, and compassionate - not one ounce of ingenuity can be felt among them.  Perhaps it was because we knew the most intimate details about one another from fertility issues to perineal massage, or perhaps I am lucky finding women who are genuinely thoughtful and peaceful women, but my time with these women is so unpretentious.  So uninhibited.  And I am so thankful.  It is in this group that I am not afraid to express my anxieties or joys about parenting.  I do not find judgment or competition.  I find likeminded women, also looking for community in which we can be ourselves, swoon over each other's children, and find comfort and support. Wouldn't it be wonderful if all women were committed to being this type of mother?

What do you do to connect with other mothers?  

How do you avoid, stand up against, and admonish those so desperate to compete when it comes to mothering?