Saturday, August 13, 2011

a little friendship goes a long way...

Researching for a birth class was both exciting and intimidating.  Upon my 20th week of pregnancy, T and I began to seek our best option:  Bradley Method?  Or Hypnobirthing?  After a little bit of research, including what classes were available and when, we decided on Hypnobirthing (more on this decision in another post).  We were the last couple to be added to a class of 4.

The 4 couples with whom we studied breathing techniques, fear releases, positive mantras, and relaxation quickly became aware of our personal feelings toward birth.  At the beginning of each session, we would discuss how our pregnancies were progressing, how we could prepare ourselves physically for birth, and how we all could support one another.  I was the first woman due to give birth, shortly followed by another, and then months for the other 3.

As it were, the woman due 3 days after me gave birth 28 hours before me.  10 weeks later another baby was born.  1 week later yet another.  And lastly, the final hypnobaby was born this July.

4 of the 5 hypnobabies


Since the beginning of June, as many or as few of us that are able come together for a long lunch and conversation.  What is so striking to me is that these women are intelligent, kind, gentle, and compassionate - not one ounce of ingenuity can be felt among them.  Perhaps it was because we knew the most intimate details about one another from fertility issues to perineal massage, or perhaps I am lucky finding women who are genuinely thoughtful and peaceful women, but my time with these women is so unpretentious.  So uninhibited.  And I am so thankful.  It is in this group that I am not afraid to express my anxieties or joys about parenting.  I do not find judgment or competition.  I find likeminded women, also looking for community in which we can be ourselves, swoon over each other's children, and find comfort and support. Wouldn't it be wonderful if all women were committed to being this type of mother?

What do you do to connect with other mothers?  
How do you avoid, stand up against, and admonish those so desperate to compete when it comes to mothering?

7 comments:

stephanie said...

you know I've made some of my best friends here {my husband is military so we move around} through play group. I've yet to run into a "competitive" mother maybe it's because we're all struggling to make and form friendships since we all move so much... I don't know.

Sarah said...

I met a great group of ladies online through FertilityFriend.com where I charted my temps and joined the community and my due date group forum. Many of us are still connected on Facebook and it's been so nice to have our babies grow up "together" and have other mamas who's kids are at the exact same age and stage as your child to get advice and ask questions of. Having said that, I did have to leave the FF message boards due to moms competing against one another, comparing children, bashing my reasoning for sleep training...so I've kept in touch on FB with those who support me and have left the message board for those who don't!

Angie said...

Hi E!
I have enjoyed reading your blog and I have awarded you the Versatile Award. To know more please visit the following link
http://www.littleinspiration.com/2011/08/versatile-blogger-award.html

Thanks,
Angie
www.littleinspiration.com

Erika said...

I've been wanting to read your blog for awhile now but it was stuck on my to-do list. SO GLAD I came and checked it out! I feel like I've made a new blog-friend instantly :) Write on

Savanah said...

Hey girly! I saw your comment on my blog and wanted to tell you to enable your email so I can respond to your sweet comments!! :) I did a post about it last week with step by step instructions if you don't know how to do it! :)

Vicky said...

I thank goodness for the playgroup mommies. I feel like we have grown up together.

I am a new follower from the Give a Hoot Hop. I would love a follow back at http://messforless.blogspot.com
Thanks!

Vicky said...

I also wanted to mention that I enjoy your blog I would like to award you the Versatile Blogger Award. Please read the details at http://messforless.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-first-award.html

Vicky