Sunday, August 7, 2011

Well, the cat's out of the bag...

When I was pregnant with J, I sought a lot of comfort in the blogging world.  I stumbled upon and linked to women who were due around the same time that I was.  These women blogged about their aches and pains, excitement and joy, anticipation and trepidation.  I was able to relate, learn, and celebrate by reading.  In fact, T would encourage me to turn in early for the night only to find me hours later, reading blogs on my iPhone.

I began this blog only 4 short weeks ago.  Being home for the summer with J, I needed something to stimulate me intellectually, but I also yearned for community.  I desperately wanted to seek women with infants or young families with whom to connect.  And so I began, finally commenting on blogs I'd read for many, many months: finding inspiration and community in this little corner of the world.

Recently, as a fun, small expansion of the blog, I created a Face.book page.  I thought that would also be an area in which the dialogue of motherhood could continue.  Being the ever supportive husband that T is (who, by the way, did not find out about this blog until a few weeks in), "liked" the Jet's Journey page.  Inevitably, this "like" was broadcasted across my, and undoubtedly many others, news feed.

Cue panic.  Was I ready for people in my real life to read my blog posts?  This is a place where I feel I can be candid, not have to worry about "judgement," or feel that I'm being one of those moms who won't stop talking about her f*ing child (which, by the way, I really try hard not to constantly post about J on my face.book/I totally do not succeed).  T and I diligently tried to remove any traces of Jet's Journey and I felt comforted knowing that, most likely, no one spotted it.

Until I received this text message: 

Excuse the language.  Clearly I was shocked.
Hi, M!

Well, that's it.  Jet's Journey is out there and I have little control as to who views it.  Thank God, the person who happened to find it first was M, my Maid of Honor.  But who else saw it?  Who will be reading this blog?

Will this knowledge censor some of my writing?  Maybe.  Will I think twice about being as candid?  Perhaps.  Am I going to stop writing in this place?  No.

I started this blog to chronicle my time with J and commiserate celebrate motherhood with those in the blogosphere.  And that is what I intend to do.  Undoubtedly, I'll second guess a post, topic, or photo.  But ultimately, this isn't for anyone but me.  And if some other woman is out there, crawling into bed reading her RSS feed for hours, then so be it.  I'm here for her, too.

Do people in real life know that you blog?  
If so, do you feel that this censors you in some way?  
If not, why have you not shared your blog publicly?

Okay, if you know me in real life, I quadruple dare you to comment.  Just leave your initials or some other identifying information so I know who is visiting.  And if you don't divulge, I'll find out some how.  :)


19 comments:

Amy said...

A few people in my real life know I blog. I have the same feelings as you though. I feel like if everyone close to me knows about my blog, I will feel censored. It's actually kind of strange b/c for the most part I'm a pretty private person, yet here I am with a blog!! I'm in a constant debate on whether to go all out and share on facebook and with all my family etc. I'm still up in the air on it.

Stephanie said...

The majority of people in my life know about my blog. I started the blog as a family sharing thing, and then it became something different... so there are family, friends and even coworkers who read. So far, I have been ok with that.. no one has been critical, just really supportive. But I blog really only about ME and my battles, I don't really talk about family issues or friend issues because I didn't want it to be a big complaint, it is just a space for me to be me :)

That being said, I have enjoyed reading over the last couple of days :)

177e9e60-be52-11e0-bb23-000bcdcb471e said...

I completely understand! (Jen here from Advanced Maternal Age.) I do post some blog links on FB, but my immediate family is not on there.

But recently my dad asked for a link to this blog of mine he's heard about. It made me immediately censor one of my posts, knowing that my parents would read it. It wasn't anything big, but my mom doesn't want to imagine that anything is ever remotely awry in my world, such as that her little girl might have had a lonely day. Omitting the word "lonely" made for a less interesting (and less concise) post that day. Alas.

I'll have to be aware that trying to keep them from worrying is no longer my job (never should have been, really never was, but I didn't know that!).

I have delayed sending them the link to my blog...

The guise, at least, of anonymity was one of the best features of blogging -- though it also limits traffic to the site.

I hope they never stumble across my OTHER blog!

Gina said...

My friends and family know about my blog - and yes, that sort of censors me a bit. But I enjoy writing about my sons and sharing pictures, so it's still a creative outlet for me even if I feel I can't share everything!

Lina said...

I would love to share mine, but my primary concern is that the kids aren't mine - and I highly doubt their parents would be okay with me using real names, identifying characteristics, etc. Plus, it's a safe space for me to rant about LGBT things and/or parents...and I definitely don't want about half my facebook feed finding that out!

Natalie said...

a couple of my besties know about it and Andy, but he never reads it...or so I think. I thought it would censor me a bit too letting people know about it, but it hasn't I have a much dirtier blogging "mouth" than I do in real life. I did almost eff up though when a co-worker told me about her travel blog and I "followed" her, then realized her boss was following her as well and could easily get to my blog.Shit shit. I quickly changed it to anonymous, but I can't be certain it was fast enough. He's a pretty cool dude, so hopefully if he did catch a glimpse he wouldn't ever tell anyone about it. who knows though. I choose to believe he didn't see it.

About Mrs. G said...

I totally know how you feel. I also made a FB page and my sister posted it to her page. I was so embarrassed. But it is what it is and I only get positive comments from people I know who read it.

About my blog said...

I felt the same as you did when I started my blog. I started it for myself and shared it with my mom and mother in law. Soon more people knew and I was nervous. Your blog is wonderful though and its awesome your sharing everything with friends and family.

erin said...

A lot of people in my real life know about my blog because I post links to it on facebook. I have been blogging for almost 6 years, though, so it was bound to be found out at some point. :) It was hard when my blog became primarily about weight loss because for some reason I had no problem posting my weight on my blog but then freaked out when I realized people that I saw ON A DAILY BASIS now knew what I weighed. Still, the experience overall has been really good for me and has resulted in some great conversations as well. I don't really censor myself much at all, although I do share a lot less of my life than I did when I first began blogging, but that's because I've become a bit more private as I've gotten older.

Anne Marie said...

When I first started blogging, I didn't tell anyone, much for the same reasons you mentioned. Now, my family knows about the blog and, although it scares me because sometimes I feel like I have to sensor myslef, it's also cool to know that they are reading.

Nancy said...

When I first started the blog, NO ONE knew about it. Not even my husband. Then I slacked off and when my daughter was born, I went back to it. I blogged for a good 3 months without any of our friends and family knowing. I took the plunge and linked up my newest blog post to my Facebook account and SO many people commented on it. Now my friends and family reads it including my husband's family. They finally get a view of my parenting choices and HOW I plan to stick with it. I don't censor my parenting views but I have to censor my potty mouth, hahaha.

Kristin said...

My sister and bff read my blog. But I don't really want family to know bc I don't want a phone call everytime U have a downer post. and I think it would change the way I write- which is pretty frank and candid.

Sugardrive said...

Friend, when I first started my blog, a couple years ago, I didn't have much of a "voice". I was worried about what people would think of me and I was terrified of being honest with the world - and myself. Since then, I don't care. I link up my blog to my FB page. Love me or hate me...this is who I am. These are my thoughts - crazy, happy, in love, hurt, sad, depressed, angry. Normal emotions that course through our veins. All is well. :)

Kate @ The Fetching Life said...

Thank you so much for your comment, I'm sorry I'm slow to comment back, I've actually been busy reading your back log of posts (4am blog reading, I'm so with you!!) I'm pretty sure people in my "real" life don't read my blog now, but I know a LOT were when I was wedding blogging. It was strange when people would bring things up that I blogged about but never actually talked about. I hope you won't censor yourself now even if there are others reading, even if other people do find my blog, I figure it is what it is, and this is who I am take it or leave it. Besides I just got hooked, so I hope you don't change it up :)

Megan Ashley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
championm2000 said...

Great post...all things I should have thought about before I started posting my blog link on FB--you know, before my blog morphed into something a little more than additional space for posting baby pictures.

So, yes. My friends and family do read it. Yes, it does censor me a little. But more than anything, it keeps me true to my blog's purpose--to record the story of our lives for my first and most important audience--my babies.

Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog :-) And yes, time does fly. You'll blink and Jet will be 14 months old.

Sarah said...

I actually started my blog as an updates about my family blog for family and close friends only, it went private before our son was born...but I recently opened it up to the public because I love reading other mommy/baby blogs and wanted to share our experiences with others too. BUT I do not tell my Facebook friends about my blog. I couldn't imagine hiding my blog from my family and close friend because I write about them too and wouldn't want secrets kept from them.

Taylor said...

Yes - I started my blog because we live so far away from family. I created it to be a little space for them to check into to, to see what was up in our lives. It has evolved so much since then, I sometimes wish my real-life friends and family didn't know about it. There are times I'm frustrated and want to be SUPER honest, but I fear that I'll hurt someone's feelings so I'm always censoring myself.

Tmuffin.com said...

Everyone in real life knows I blog. (Well, maybe not everyone or I would have a lot more followers... haha.) I tend to have my candid moments and then moments of censorship.

My main reason for censorship: My mom reads my blog. Ha.

But I tend to censor myself based on the people who DON'T know me who might read my blog. Those who know me wouldn't be surprised at anything. It's just that sometimes I don't want to scare other people away.

I love your blog, and you're honest and easy to relate to. I'm glad I found it!